Find a girlfriend – how and where can i get one?

Searching and finding a girlfriend is one of the tasks in almost every boy or man’s life that has to be mastered. If you have sometimes thought that a girlfriend is easier to search than to find, this blog post should be the right one for you.


Because in this post we go into exactly how and where you can find a girlfriend and what challenges you will encounter when looking for a girlfriend.

Benefit from our 5 years of practical experience as flirt and dating coaches and find your new girlfriend with our tips now – start your search for a girlfriend today!

Girlfriend wanted – the desire for togetherness

When looking for a girlfriend, the desire often begins when you don’t want to be alone anymore.

Maybe you are feeling that you are satisfied with your life.

However, you would like to share some moments with another person.

You also have very human needs for attention, closeness and attention from the opposite sex. Sometimes you feel lonely and deserted.

These emotions are often the starting point and the motivation.

They drive you to take a close look at your love life and change some things.

Your search for a girlfriend starts today with this article!

Looking for a girlfriend! But how?

At RealGentleman we have always followed the approach that knowledge is success. Only when a man knows exactly what to do when a girlfriend is properly searched. Only then can he do the things that will lead to success. This is how he will find a girlfriend!

Many people believe that every man knows how to find and find a girlfriend. Interestingly, however, search engines like Google are used every month with innumerable word combinations like

“I am looking for a girlfriend”,
“Get girlfriend”,
“Find a girlfriend”,
“How do I find a girlfriend”
“How do you find a girlfriend”
“Find a girlfriend tips” or
the more defiant “I want a girlfriend”

If “finally” is added, you should also be aware that the topic is explosive and affects more men than women and men would like to admit.

Looking for a girlfriend? Previous offers to find a girlfriend

“Test yourself!”, “For dummies” and “never single again, finally find a girlfriend.” Are the answers of the industry.

The topics of looking for or finding a girlfriend are not popular because they reveal apparent incompetence in an elementary area of life. In our experience, this is because many people have a deep-seated inner fear of rejection.

The admission that with women you have so far been unsuccessful. In individual cases, this can feel like playing with death. Individual boys and men feel fears close to the fear of death. We have experienced a lot when it comes to looking for and finding a girlfriend.

It looks so easy with everyone else!

Everyone looks back on their parents and grandparents. It all looks so easy. Apparently the right people find themselves magical – and you don’t have to actively look for or find a girlfriend. And if we look at the depictions of love and sexuality in the media. We get the impression that the right people find a girlfriend like magic: A truck drives past, causing an apple to roll off the fruit stand … two uneven hands reach for it magically, hands touch … looks meet … lightning bolts, thunder, rainbow, unicorns … and shortly afterward marriage and children. Girlfriend wanted – girlfriend found!

The portrayals of searching and finding a friend in films and books are often written for … correct … women!

At the same time, however, they are also shaped by their romantic ideals. Ideas of fate, predestination, magic and chance play an important role in the search for a girlfriend.

However, these ideas often stem from the fact that women are the more passive gender in the human mating ritual. Or how often has a woman approached you or a future girlfriend proactively searched for and found you? Even if you are an above-average handsome man, it will rarely happen. And if they do, they are rarely the women you really want. That’s how girlfriend search and find doesn’t work!

Allow: the post-apocalyptic wasteland

“Being single is like a post-apocalyptic wasteland where it’s every man for himself.”

Barney Stinson

If men take these ideas as a basis and step out into dating, they are often almost eaten up. They realize. There is a competition out there, the rules of which I do not even see correctly, let alone understand to some extent. The girlfriend search turns into a nightmare.

Then as we get older, we start to see our parents’ marriage in a different light. Perhaps the cozy calm in the parents’ house has meanwhile become icy silence. Perhaps we can now see that our parents don’t really fit together. That’s why they may not be so happy after all.

We recognize that our parents found each other at a different time. Maybe even at a time when you still had to get together to afford a comfortable life. It has also become much more difficult today to be able to gain an authentic impression of someone else. The search for a girlfriend is a misunderstanding between the generations.

It’s About the Genes, Stupid!

The truth is that finding a girlfriend is one of the most important searches in a man’s life. The survival and further quality of its genetic line depend on it. For a man, looking for a girlfriend is like looking for a first job. Not the last answer to a question that will come up again and again. The search for a girlfriend is sense-giving.

Finding a girlfriend is a hot topic. For some, this means that he takes this topic very seriously and spends a lot of time and commitment on a satisfactory result (here: “Finding a girlfriend”). For the other person, it means that he is too embarrassed to talk about the topic of “looking for a girlfriend” and therefore prefers not to show himself. Because, our subconscious tells us, if someone notices that I’m not good enough for the mating ritual, I will be excluded from the DNA pool. The search for a girlfriend as a nail test – as a litmus test of the man.

In reality, it is the case that you often do not know exactly how to proceed or which exactly the next step must be.

And conquering a woman is an artistic talent that very few have been born with. So nowadays there are some men who invest a lot of time, attention and effort in conquering women.

At RealGentleman, it is important to us that we have developed a rationally male concept, free of romantic ideals, with which every man can really succeed with women.

If you want to find a girlfriend, you have to do better

Love, partnership and romance and thus also looking for and finding a friend. All of these wonderful things have their origins in attraction – attraction. Only when you become attractive to women will they feel attracted to you and you will be able to search for and then find the girlfriend of your dreams. Only then will the search for a friend really give you pleasure and you can develop her into a real passion.

If you have already dealt a little with human psychology, you will understand that attraction arises subconsciously and two things are required to attract (here: undress) certain groups of people:

I must

  1. Create quality and
  2. Communicate quality (I have to tell the woman what I want from her).

We at RealGentleman work in two ways with you on these two points: We work with you on you as a man and strengthen your masculine core qualities. At the same time we improve your communication skills and your social skills.

So the frustration when looking for a girlfriend will find pleasure in the girlfriend. 🙂

What you should be working on when looking for a girlfriend

To put it in a nutshell from the start: women find some men more attractive than others. Yes, that may not be a surprise to you. However, looking for a girlfriend naturally makes it much easier if a woman feels attracted to you right from the start.

What do women find attractive?

But what do women find attractive?

One of the biggest stumbling blocks when it comes to understanding female desires is that women are simply unable to articulate them appropriately.

Men who adhere to dating tips from women fail almost immediately and often with a crash to find a girlfriend!

The reason for this is all too human: Desire develops on a subconscious level. It is perfectly common to desire something and not fully understand why you want it exactly.

In addition, this subconscious desire is often in blatant conflict with outward moral values. It sometimes seems like you are deliberately blocking your view when looking for a friend. There is a reason for this appearance. 🙂

“If you want to learn how to hunt successfully, don’t ask the fish. Ask a successful hunter! ”


Another complicating factor is that, due to evolution, women are pursuing two different, factually competing mating strategies at the same time:

  1. good genes and
  2. good protection.

When looking for a girlfriend, it is important that you know how to use both pairing strategies to your advantage.

The ideal man – now, immediately!

The ideal man, as he has been stylized in countless romance novels, satisfies both of these requirements at the same time: he is strong, handsome, of high social status and of course completely devoted to his wife.

So all you have to do is read all of the doctor’s novels and learn to imitate their protagonists. The search for a girlfriend will become effortless. 😉

Social Status

A high social status is most often indicated by the following indicators:

  1. Preselected by women
  2. Leader of men
  3. Risk taker
  4. Protector of Loved Ones
  5. Willingness to Emote

These indicators can be generated by the product itself or through targeted communication. If you can generate these indicators, it will definitely benefit your search for a girlfriend.

Social skills and communication

In particular, the targeted work on social and communicative skills can indicate a high social status and thus immediately create attractiveness when a girlfriend is sought.

  1. social skills
  2. Knowledge of human nature in general
  3. Knowledge of women in particular
  4. Leading
  5. Knowledge of the seduction process
  6. communication
  7. Body Language

The search for a friend, wife, partner or relationship will only be really satisfactory for you if you understand women and can therefore communicate with them at eye level.

Understanding women and their tests – evolution!

Learning to understand women makes it much easier for many men to find a girlfriend and maybe later love or relationship. In general, it is easier to work together if both partners understand each other better.

In general, many men are far too easily unsettled. A man’s strength is shown not only in his physical stature but to a much greater extent in his mental strength. Women know that it is not the physical strength but the mental strength and resilience of a genetic lineage that has preserved it for millions of years. That is why their tests are regularly aimed at finding out and testing the true inner strength of a man.

If women fell prey to a man who played a lot of strength for them, but was in fact an air number, this could have fatal consequences for them and end in death. Accordingly, the “antennas” of many women are geared towards determining the authenticity and true strength of a man.

Only a man who is authentic to his weaknesses will be able to pass such tests.

We here at RealGentleman have really experienced and participated in every test in the past 5 years. We will prepare you appropriately. 🙂

Where can I find a girlfriend?

After we have clarified the How do I find a girlfriend fairly far, the question still arises where you are most likely to find a girlfriend.

It’s less about cities. You can basically find and get to know a friend anywhere. In big cities like Berlin, Stuttgart or Munich as well as in smaller cities like Mainz or Freiburg, in German cities like Magdeburg, Braunschweig or Aschaffenburg, just like in Austrian cities like Innsbruck. You can just look for a friend nearby, but also in the distance. Sometimes it makes a lot of sense to move to a new city for a while and look for new friends and a new girlfriend there.


Let’s take a look at the statistics: According to a US survey by the statistics portal Reportlinker, most people nowadays have their partner or theirs Get to know a partner through friends (social circle), the workplace or clubs or bars. So if you thought that online dating apps have become a no-brainer in the dating field, you have made a mistake.

The search for a girlfriend will therefore again require more in the future than just swiping from the sofa in dating apps or browsing through profiles on the Internet. If you are looking for a friend, you will have to go outside again. 😉

Let’s take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of the different places where you can find a girlfriend below:

Friends (Social Circle)

With data in the social circle, it is an advantage that the girl already knows you and you no longer have to prove certain properties. She will already have a basic trust in you and will already appreciate your strengths. If the circle of friends knows about it and approves of your relationship, sometimes even slight to massive shooter help can be expected.

However, these advantages can also be the biggest disadvantage: within the circle of friends, the social structure is naturally very firm and therefore often difficult to break. At the same time, everyone in the social circle often knows about the relationship and this can never really develop freely. Apart from classic relationship models, something is rarely really possible without the girl’s reputation being damaged.

Work Place / University / School

Basically very similar situation as in the Freundeskreis. In addition, there is often a slightly higher fluctuation, as new faces appear from time to time or older ones (temporarily) disappear.

Professional or academic achievements can be the engine of attraction if pursued with genuine pleasure.

It is also disadvantageous here when looking for a friend that the social structure is often still quite firm. Ambition will often meet with envy (“crabs in a bucket” motif) when looking for a friend. Discretion is also difficult to guarantee if you want to find a friend at work, university or school. Often, everyone quickly knows when the girlfriend is wanted

It is also disadvantageous here when looking for a girlfriend that the social structure is often still quite firm. Ambition will often meet with envy (“crabs in a bucket” motif) when looking for a girlfriend. Discretion is also difficult to guarantee if you want to find a girlfriend at work, university or school. Often, everyone quickly knows when the girlfriend has been searched and found. Relationship in development often inhibited, social pressure generally high.

Find a friend online over the Internet

The Internet has fundamentally changed these relationships: dating and getting to know each other have become possible anonymously. Women and very good-looking men can date and meet new people very quickly and efficiently. The social structure can be skipped here, since only a relatively small section of the true personality has to be given. Thanks to anonymity, the relationship can develop much more freely and alternative models can also be lived free from social pressure.

However, anonymity also becomes the biggest disadvantage, since blenders have advantages and hardly any real social proof is built up when looking for a girlfriend. The authenticity of the individual can quickly appear questionable if everyone shows only the best of themselves online. The trust of women is often gone after bad experiences and has to be laboriously rebuilt.

Everyday Life

If you address a woman in the right way in everyday life, you will be fulfilling her romantic ideal. (“It just happened.”) The social fabric is less important to you if you have learned to send signals of strength through your communication and sub-communication.

You are also doing something that very few men do. That alone makes you incredibly interesting for most women.

However, you should really master the approach to women in everyday life. Because comfort, rapport and social proof you have to build alone and small mistakes in the initial phase can quickly mean your early end.

Find the right girlfriend: How do I find the right girlfriend?

If you want to find the right girlfriend for you, you should first clarify which girlfriend suits you. To do this, you need to know exactly who you are and what you want.

In our experience, very few people really know themselves. An explanation for the high divorce rate …

The first thing to do is to find out who you really are. In our experience, the SWOT analysis is the right choice for this.

Furthermore, the own USP should be developed.

The next step should then be to determine and write down what you want exactly. What you want exactly!

What do I want: exactly!

This is the only way to learn to understand who you really are and what type of woman you really like. Because the answer to the question about your type of woman is not: “Blond and sometimes dark-haired.”

The search for the right girlfriend is also the search for the girlfriend as such.

Every other girl is beautiful!

Because if you take a closer look: Every second girl is pretty. Beauty is completely interchangeable and not a bit conservable.

Personality also beats looks in women.

Women know this secretly and therefore pay close attention to whether you are interested in them or only in their appearance. Women with self-respect will always punish superficial behavior.

What else does a woman have to offer you so that you can enjoy the time after sex with her?

Does she share your interests, your enthusiasm, does she walk a part of the way with you and makes your life easier?

Or is she a woman who only makes your life harder because she may not be able to get her feelings and thoughts right?

Finding a friend is one thing, but finding the right suitable girlfriend is something completely different.

This requires an in-depth discussion with you and your potential friends. Because only if you know what you want you will be able to search for it and ultimately find it.

Find Girlfriend = Find Love?

Many of our clients come to us with the wish that they are not just looking for a girlfriend, but that they want to find a relationship or love.

This wish is of course human. You too will surely yearn to find a girlfriend from time to time. The one woman who shares everything with you and takes you as you are. The partner, relationship, great love and wife to marry.

There is nothing wrong with this wish. If you are looking for a girlfriend and want to find love, we can understand that.

If you find the right girlfriend, you can also find great love.

However, we would like to note that one does not always go hand in hand with the other.

On the contrary: Especially among young people, we often find very romantic specimens that always automatically see great love in every girlfriend.

This is often reflected in the desire for a “nice girlfriend”, which is expressed by some clients. The respect for conquering the opposite sex goes so far as to make them really afraid of bitchy women. Women like to use this bitch image as a deterrent to weak men who they don’t find attractive. Women are sometimes very immediate and direct, aren’t they? 😀

We have found over the years that this is more a result of overly soft men. Many men are not yet clear with themselves and then seek salvation in their partner. Obviously, such plans are doomed to failure.

A relationship, partnership or even marriage must develop and are difficult to plan in advance. First of all, a person must be happy with himself before he can draw another person into his life.

If a person believes that he can only be happy with another person, he is not happy alone. And what a person wants to spend time with another person who is not happy. Hardly anyone. So if you are looking for a relationship, partner, or marriage instead of your girlfriend. Then you should first concentrate on finding your own happiness.

Find a new girlfriend

Another challenge for many of our community members is finding a new girlfriend after a breakup. Because you haven’t been looking for a friend for a long time, you are out of practice and have to deal with women a bit clumsy and clumsy. But don’t worry, the more you get in touch with women again, the easier it will be for you if your new girlfriend is sought by you.

In addition, many boys and men are initially depressed after a separation. We also see with many that self-confidence and self-confidence have suffered a lot, so the search for a girlfriend seems to be even harder. This shows again and again how dependent many men have made on their girlfriend. This is often the reason why the separation took place in the first place.

Remember: Always keep your independence from your partner to a certain extent! This has a positive effect on the relationship.

A special case is represented by men who want to find a new girlfriend after they have separated from their spouses. What is special about these men is that at one point they were certain that they no longer had to look for a girlfriend. As a result, they were often no longer looking for a friend or partner.

Some are hardly used to dealing with women as sexual beings and feel all the more lost when looking for a girlfriend.

On the other hand, these men have lived together with a woman for a long time and therefore usually understand the female gender somewhat better than the younger ones.

We can build on this when you are looking for a girlfriend so that you can quickly find your girlfriend.

I can’t find a girlfriend – it’s too difficult

This “I am-too…to-thinking” comes from the so-called beliefs in our head. These beliefs come from our earliest past and have often been heavily influenced by our parents.

Because our beliefs are just that: phrases that reflect our beliefs. They don’t say anything about reality, but as you know, a person’s faith can be very strong. And so finding a friend can be easier or harder.

“Faith can move mountains.” And if you think you are not good enough for a certain girl, what do you think will happen in reality if you are looking for a girlfriend?

Beliefs come from a time when individuals were responsible for our survival. Especially our parents had a god-like position in our lives in early childhood. We believed their words so much that they became a reality for us.

Limiting beliefs

This “I’m-to-be… thinking” comes from the so-called beliefs in our head. These beliefs come from our earliest past and have often been heavily influenced by our parents.

Because our beliefs are just that: phrases that reflect our beliefs. They don’t say anything about reality, but as you know, a person’s faith can be very strong. And so finding a girlfriend can be easier or harder.

“Faith can move mountains.” And if you think you are not good enough for a certain girl, what do you think will happen in reality if you are looking for a girlfriend?

Beliefs come from a time when individuals were responsible for our survival. Especially our parents had a god-like position in our lives in early childhood. We believed their words so much that they became a reality for us.

I am too Old / too Young

Regardless of whether you are 14, 16, 18 or 21 years old or 30, 40, 50 or 60 years old or more: Age is an issue for everyone when a girlfriend is being sought.

Somehow it’s always the same. If you are young, you are somehow too young for most girls. Then when you are a few years older, all of a sudden you seem to be too old for a girl when you are looking for a girlfriend.

All of this often only happens in your head. The girls, on the other hand, will notice if you are unsure about this topic and will keep trying to find out why. An often uncomfortable situation when you are not comfortable with yourself.

We can definitely tell you one thing:

Our youngest members in the community are just 18 and our oldest members are well over 50. There is neither too young nor too old to find the right girlfriend. No matter how old you are, there is also the right girlfriend for you.

too Fat / too Thin

Another limiting belief is: “I’m too fat / too thin and therefore can’t find a girlfriend.” If you’ve been saying this sentence to yourself for decades, it’s no wonder that you now believe it.

Those who are rather fat think that women only like thin men. Those who are too fat would like to be a bit slimmer. The grass on the other side of the garden fence always looks greener and fresher than on your own.

Aside from some health-related exceptions, most men are neither too fat nor too thin to find a girlfriend. So as long as you can exercise and exercise normally, you can also find a friend.

Women and girls are also people with very human and everyday problems. Overweight and underweight have become a modern health problem, especially among women. No man should therefore be afraid to find a girlfriend – regardless of whether he sees himself too fat or too thin.

In the RealGentleman Dating Community, we connect men of all body types. Fat muscular as well as skinny and wiry. In our opinion and experience, it is a very important development step in a man’s life that he can see and recognize the imperfection of every other man in order to be able to accept himself and his own imperfection without reservation.

too Ugly / not Pretty Enough

A particularly formative belief for many men is that they are too ugly or not good-looking enough.

In our view, this very widespread negative belief is a direct result of our increasingly superficial society. This superficiality is in stark contrast to what evolution actually created:

In the past, men didn’t increase their likelihood of survival by looking particularly pretty. Instead, in our human history, other attributes were conducive to increasing the likelihood of survival: dominance, leadership skills, success, experience, toughness / resilience, strength, intelligence, communication, inner belief

In our society, men and women are therefore suggested that what counts most is a man’s good looks, in terms of his genetic quality

The truth is, women are still subconsciously attracted to other attributes of a man. These attributes can be of great benefit when looking for a girlfriend.

Because many women still instinctively long for a successful man and alpha male in their lives.

With our tips for a confident appearance, you are able to not only look for your girlfriend, but also confidently face her. You will learn from us exactly those thought patterns and behaviors that make you desirable and attractive in the eyes of many women.

too Small / too large

One of the most common limiting beliefs among men is the limiting belief “I’m too small”.

This belief also comes from the fact that a man’s physical superiority (size / strength) is taken as an indicator of his likelihood of survival. It is then quickly assumed that you can only look for and have a girlfriend when you are tall.

Many women actually want the man to be at least taller than themselves. Still, there are enough women who don’t even care.

There are also enough small men who have reproduced in the past. Otherwise you wouldn’t exist. Because you come from a line of men who, despite or just because of their little one, have come this far.

Small dogs often bark very loudly! There is a reason why you are smaller than others!

We at RealGentleman have worked with a lot of small men and can only say that they have become one of our most successful students when they are looking for a friend.

And yes, of course there is also a man who sees himself too tall to look for a new girlfriend.

too intelligent / too stupid

While we can immediately imagine in “I’m too stupid” that this belief has a strongly limiting effect, it is more difficult with “I’m too intelligent”.

Nevertheless, in the past 5 years we have been able to get to know enough clients who have really assumed that they are too intelligent to be able to get along with women.

Of course that is also nonsense. Learn to understand women, learn to flirt, address women correctly and learn to write to them. All of this is much easier with intelligence if you are looking for a woman.

Women love intelligent men and some women even love it when they don’t understand a word of what the man is saying. But just as he says it is enough so that she can feel his self-confidence in his area of ​​expertise. 🙂

There are also many very intelligent girls who are happy to find a boy or man who is intelligent and understands them. So it’s worth looking for a friend off the beaten path. 🙂

Further challenges

In addition to these classic challenges that most men in Germany have to deal with. Are there other challenges that affect certain groups of people when they are looking for a girlfriend?

My German is still too bad / I haven’t been in Germany for so long and am looking for a girlfriend

Again and again, clients or interested parties come to us who say that their German is (still) too bad to quickly find a German girlfriend. Partly because they have not been in Germany for so long.

We can of course understand these worries. Communication is and remains one of the essential components in the interaction with a potential future girlfriend, who is being sought.

Nevertheless: The German language should be learned! But initial mistakes should not discourage anyone. You will not be reproached by any character-perfect woman. Language should make it easier to find a girlfriend, not make it difficult to find a girlfriend.

Cultural differences and particularly extreme outliers can actually be an obstacle and even cause for concern for many women. Therefore, it is important to quickly deal with the cultural and regional requirements in Germany

Another hack is the English language. Many girls and young women in Germany speak English very well. It can even come across as exotic and therefore attractive for itself. Especially when you speak to women in English.

Find a girlfriend with a disability or serious illness

1056/5000In our daily work, of course, we also have to deal with other people affected. Some face special challenges such as disabilities or serious illness.

It is remarkable and sad at the same time that these groups of people and their natural desires for care and security are given little or no attention by a loving partner in the public discussion. If a friend is sought by the disabled or seriously ill, this wish does not appear to play any role in public discourse.

Depending on the individual challenge, it is necessary to make adjustments in the search for a girlfriend and the approach of the woman.

Our team has experience with clients who have to deal with autism, social phobias, mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression and other challenges. We count our customers as people with limited mobility, such as those in wheelchairs.

Please contact us about our individual programs.

Find Friendship Plus

When looking for a sex friend, it’s more about finding a woman for one night. This is not a classic search for a friend or partner.

But some people see great love in every friend (see above). Other men see only girlfriend or wife for one night in every girlfriend.

And of course that is also completely legitimate. Because you cannot choose attraction.

Just as one or the other was not only looking for a girlfriend but instead hoped for great love instead. In the same way, some also try to find a Friendship Plus.


Not every seeker wants to establish a steady relationship when looking for a girlfriend.