Nightgame was great yesterday. Me and a couple of guys, we had so much fun. It was amazing to see, how just a bunch of us can change the whole atmosphere in a bar or club. It took only minutes and…all eyes on us. 🙂
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As today is a girls off and lazy day, it is again time for a more complex topic. And to be to totally clear about that: even the best players struggle with this from time to time. It’s about judging girls.
Scientists would refer to it as „The Madonna Whore Complex“. And there are so many wrong mindsets and misbehaviors in the process of picking up and dating women connected to this primeval (mis)conception: stop, approach, dating strategy and for sure the sexual fulfillment of both parties.
So it can’t be stressed enough that it is very important for every (aspiring) player to constantly self reflect one‘s own mindsets and behaviors.
The harsh truths: Women have sex and they like it naughty and rude. They constantly phantasize about threesomes, foursomes, gangbangs and sex in general. They even enjoy sex much more than we men do. Just think about how often you can make a girl cum and how long lasting her orgasms are. Provided you use the right techniques and have a real genuine desire to let her enjoy sex to the fullest.
But most men in this world stand in their own way to fulfilling sex for men and women. And it is not even their fault. When you look at the media, it is full of romantic bullshit. Main story: As a man, there is one special girl somewhere and she will only sleep with you, after you showered her with flowers and attention. She practically waiting for that to happen.
So it is really easy for men to buy into that paradigm. While it is a lot harder for women to cope with the fact, that they always get male attention, no matter what the media told them.
To get to the roots of it is really tough and like I told before a never ending journey in the journey itself. That’s because everybody gets bombarded by this paradigm all the time. So even if the player sorted out his own issues, he still has to cope with the girl’s issues. And she is most of times far deeper bought into this chimera. Maybe that is the reason, why it is hard to find real scientific proof on this area of topics.
For sure there is a sociological reason, why this ideal is propagated so constantly. For the growth of a society the monogamous relationship is the most efficient. Simple: If father and mother are around all the time (not hooking up with anybody else), they are far more invested in health and growth of the child, and the rate of survival of the population goes up.
For the eminent growth of our society the Abrahamic religions took an important role. If you compare all of them (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) they all have one important thing in common: the control of women’s sexuality. Wether it is more obvious like in Islam or more subtle like in the other two doesn’t really matter.
The one thing you can get out of this is: it was at some point a conscious decision to norm certain rules to limit society’s sexuality – especially women’s.
Out of this developed an unspoken society contract: The man will protect the and provide for the woman and all her offspring, even after she lost her youth, beauty and fertility. The woman therefore will wait with second until she found that one guy. So if someone called a girl a slut or a bitch he (or more often SHE!) was basically saying:“This girls is not playing by the rules, she is breaking the societal contract.“
A whole are of rules and misbehaviors has developed since then. And girls still have to rationalize their vital sexual behavior into a shame. They are the victims of societal programming, just as we men are.
The second idea I read about this topic has been written more out of an evolutionary perspective. Likewise the ego also the Madonna whore complex develops out of the first experience of loss. Loss of the mother. It is this moment, when the fragile child starts seeing its mother as both – the Madonna and the whore. Whenever the mother is there and caring she is the Madonna and as soon as she is gone and taking care of her own well-being, she is the whore. Very selfish but very evolutionary.
While girls step into their mothers point of view as they grow, boys never have that experience. So they carry around this misconception of reality and people through adulthood. Just take a look into the menosphere or the red pill fraction, where lots of well experienced players watch out for eastern Europe’s or Asian women to hunt the unicorn. The one girl that only wants the one dick.
While there are out of a societal point of view several reasons (low birth ratio, high divorce ratio, many one person households) to talk about that. Because otherwise the society will just fade away step by step. It doesn’t benefit the player at all. Out of a strong libertarian point of view: The societal problems do benefit the whole game concept. So those who talk bad about society and the underlying developments, while trying to get gangbangs out of small village clubs, are never authentic. In best case they act apologetic.
So, how to deal with that? Answer: let go! Let go of the purity phantasy and the unicorn thinking. AWALT is the wrong way too – as every woman’s has her own personality and characteristics. There might even be the girl in the outside world, that never phantasized about getting Shish Kebabed by two dudes. There might be that girl outsided that never wanted to be treated like a whore in the sheets. But the question is: do you really think, sex will be fun with her?
As you get further into game, you will realize that everything you learned can be broken down to larger more general principles. And one of these principles is, from my point of view: The more men and women shrug off societal programming and conditioning, the more fulfilling their sexual life will be.
From a male point of view it is important to not judge the girl, but instead to encourage her to open up and let go. When you had sex the first time with a girl, whom you encouraged to live out her sexuality without judging her, you will understand what I mean.
She will be louder, nastier and kinkier than any girl you’ve had before. You’ll be amazed how many of your naughtiest fantasies she will fulfill you. That is because now she felt save and not judged for her desires and deepest fantasies.
In fact even the health and growth of a man woman partnership founds on this non judgements attitude. Accepted she has all these porn fantasies (and believe me, from time to time every girl has them), she most certainly will live them out. But not with her purity fantasizing mate. These kind of desires and fantasies are very strong in everybody. And a woman that constantly oppresses theses, will sooner or later get mental issues. Because this backward rationalization of so said „wrong behavior“ is not healthy at all. Just take a look at the Catholic Church!
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Somehow it is like always: encourage yourself and other people to outlive their personality – and in this case especially their sex life. Do not judge girls for their sexual history or future fantasies – if you want to be a part of it. As long as you are searching for the unicorn, there is no spot free for you in the secret society.