Since this “Männerwelten” video was released, I have received even more letters of irritated (especially young) men.
At this point, I would like to offer an alternative perspective.
We, men, are naturally the more active sex in the human mating ritual, which we want to simplify as a chain of Approaching – Dating – Coitus, Partnership etc.
So we are expected to do something right. More precisely, we are expected to 1. do something and 2. do it right.
Countless women have confirmed to me that 1. is also a problem (extreme passivity when it comes to approaching during the daytime and in very public places).
In the TV contribution, we have now seen how not to do it right.
The examples have shown what a misguided active male sexual behavior can do.
These men did something, but they didn’t do it properly. And in doing so, they broke moral, legal, and other boundaries, intimidated, frightened, traumatized, and thus harmed their victim’s health.
We portray these men and the partially hideous things that they produced in a way that goes exhibitionistically and relentlessly blame the unknown “creators”: “You did something so wrong that you made other people harm, sick or even killed them.“
The dramatic background music intensifies your own emotions: „How can a man only do something like that to any other person?“
Why did these men do the obviously wrong thing?
Why didn’t these men choose a promising and pleasant way of contacting and seducing women?
Sexual education takes place at school in a framework that can still only be described as essential for survival today. Everything that goes beyond this is best distributed as black information behind the scenes or trumpeted out so loudly in changing rooms that it is lost in all the lies and invented stories.
So if you take a closer look, our society is pretty uptight behind the bare breasts on billboards and freely available pornography on the Internet. If I then see how a completely buttoned moderator speaks about the fact that the women in the rape cases shown have really not worn too short skirts, it gives me the impression that Ms. Passmann too should read a bit about Madonna-Whore Complex.
The truth is that young men are expected in this society to attract a woman without violating her (highest) personal rights. However, there is no information about this. On the contrary: Until recently, anyone who reveals his inexperience and ignorance is made fun of classmates, friends, and family.
Male role models can hardly be found in their own families or at least among friends. The sons and fathers‘ time together has been so short for generations that the transfer of male knowledge about classic seduction has dried up more and more.
Sexism is the order of the day in this society. Men are also regularly reduced to their “value” within the classic role allocation. Just not as a sex object – like women – but regularly as a „success object“ or „strength object“. If a man can no longer work and thus feed his wife and children, his value tends towards “zero” in this society. We die earlier, pay more insurance, and generally enjoy less protection in society.
The examples shown are extremes: not every man becomes a rapist or molester. They are extreme examples of a men’s world that does not know how to approach women exactly in order to present themselves in an attractive way.
Those men who want to get better at approaching and dealing with women know very well that this is a social challenge for both sides, which can only be met with information, education, and practice.
These men address their “women problem” in a self-reflective manner and practice dealing with them regularly and persistently. They see the challenge and take it boldly!